Ren's fantastic idea!
by Libertyprime117
Summary: Nora walks in on Ren with a ketchup stained napkin he calls "The Earth". What a dull name!
1. Chapter 1

"What are you doing with that stained-old Napkin, Ren?" Asked Nora. It was a hot summer's day at Beacon academy, and Nora knew just what would cool her down: maple syrup fresh from the bottle the cook kept in the fridge! The only thing better than syrup was pancakes… with maple syrup. But she had been banned from using the hob since the… "Incident". Who knew her semblance could conduct electricity through boiling water? Thus, she had to use the tired old cafeteria. Yet when she walked into the cafeteria she did not expect to see Ren staring at a Napkin and tracing paper so attentively.

"I am tracing the stains, I think they look a little like continents for a fictional world that I shall call… The Earth. Come see." He said sliding the napkin and paper abandoning the little bits on the left near India. India in East Asia he's call them, yep that sounded good.

"The Earth? What a dull name!" Nora said with mild contempt for his creation.

"So what's that part called?" she asked pointing to the top-middle part "It looks like a Dragon."

"That…" Ren answered "Is Scandinavia."  
"What, 'Scan land?' that's even worse than naming your world after the ground!" Nora said flippantly.  
"Well, I think it's a good name. Scan means something else in their language." Ren explained, slowly taking his world back and beginning to trace Australia.

"What does it mean?" Nora asked.

"I don't know… something." Replied Ren.

"What's there?" She said pointing to the far right.

"The Americas," he proudly explained, "Two continents, North America and South America."

"FIRSTLY, that's really stupid. We don't call Vacuo "East Saunus" and Haven "West Saunus". If you're running out of names just wait and make up a new one. SECONDLY if it's one island then it's one continent, clearly!" Nora explained, clearly disapproving of Ren's naming system.

"Geologists have no objective definitions of a continent. And if you'd like think of your own name." Ren said before attentively getting back to work.

"How about… Colombia. Maybe some guy named Colombo discovered it!" Nora thought for a moment about who he might have been. Did he discover it for riches or science? Did he come from "Indonesia"? Did he like pancakes? Do Pancakes even exist on Earth? Might this be a-a-a world without pancakes?!

"REN PLEASE TELL ME THIS WORLD HAS PANCAKES!" Nora cried, staring Ren right in the eye, her heart horrified at the thought of all the Earth dwellers not having pancakes.

"Yes Nora, there are pancakes on Earth." Ren said with a light sigh. Nora went back to smiling and dreaming of pancakes.

At that moment, Jaune entered, hoping to find Pyrrha and ask her about why he couldn't get signal or Wi-Fi during her fights. When he spotted Nora he knew she might know more than he might, girls were like that right?

"Hey, have either of you two seen Pyrrha." The knight asked Flower-power. Ren counted as an honorary girl.

"Nope." Ren replied.

"Come look Jaune, Ren's made this new world called 'Earth.'" Nora beckoned in the noodley blonde.

"That looks pretty cool." Jaune wondered.

"This bit is America, and this bit is Columbia, because Columbo discovered it!" Nora excitedly exclaimed.

"It's not called Columbia! Though maybe someone called Columbo discovered it…" Ren said dismissively as he finished tracing Australia.

"Columbo discovered it, from where?" Jaune wondered, having assumed that people would have begun in the left hand continent simply because we read left to right. You might think him dense for that, but think about how many times you unconsciously assume things go from left to right, it is more common than you think.

"The most likely option is here." Ren said, pointing to Spain. "He would have spread his culture all over the central and southern Americas." Ren had already prepared a hot-bed of ideas. He went looking for a faster way to get to India by going around the ocean, he went looking for spices to put on his pancakes… his mind was racing like a swan, appearing elegant and graceful on the outside yet raging with chaos from within.

"So now there's THREE Columbias?!" Nora exclaimed.

"He flew all that way, seriously?" Wondered Jaune, confused at how a sailing gravity-dust ship would do it on Open Ocean.

"Obviously not!" Exclaimed Ren, mildly calming Jaune's speculation. "Flying machines weren't invented then." Ren said, providing an answer that required even greater explanation.  
p"So, wait, they had circumnavigating boats… but hadn't figured out how to put gravity dust onto a ship?" This explanation created even greater confusion. Jaune knew Ren had not thought 'Earth' out at all.

"Ah, now we come to the key difference between Earth and Remnant, Earth inhabitants cannot use dust, because they have no aura." Said Ren slyly, knowing it would go down like a bombshell.

"W-w-wha?" Jaune's mind twisted with imaginings of a world without dust. "We wouldn't have cars, or electricity, or… anything!" Jaune would not stand for this! No dust? THAT MEANT NO INTERNET!

"What about the Grimm? We'd all be dead from a rampaging horde destroying villages, and even Indonesia would be destroyed because of water Grimm, and off course they'd evolve into LAND GRIMM! OH GOD NOT THE GRIMM!" Nora cried in panic. It seemed no matter the quantity of pancakes on Earth- Ren had created a dystopia.

"No Grimm either." Ren said, his mind racing through possibilities like a child in a candy shop!

"Wait, wait, wait… if he went by boat then wouldn't it make more sense to go round the top… and why would he want to go to India if there was no Grimm on land to stop him?" Jaune thought, maybe it was too cold on the top, maybe he'd likely be cold if he was from that weird square stain 'Spain'. And if Pyrrha got burnt to death, this puzzled Jaune a little… why was he thinking about burning… HAD NORA GONE TO THE KITCHEN AGAIN?! No, no, she was right here. It was probably nothing, a mere premonition of sorts.

"Hmm… maybe Spain was at war with whoever controlled the Indian trade roots. It would be a long way around the bottom." Ren said lost in thought about wondrous possibility.

"Don't be silly Ren; a world with no Grimm wouldn't have war." A quiet, feminine voice came from behind Jaune.

"Pyrrha! I was just looking for you! Why were you standing behind me like that?"

"Nothing!" Pyrrha promptly retorted, averting her gaze from Jaune's... spine.

"Okay..." Jaune noted, this was now getting weird.

"Just think, mankind could build so much, and we'd have nothing to fight about if we didn't have to use resources fighting the Grimm." Pyrrha smiled at the team./p

Ren thought for a moment… what did humans fight about?

"Maybe it was some sort of religious or racial war." Ren's retorted.

"Something beginning with 'R'" Nora commented.

"Pyrrha bent over the map between Ren and Nora to get a good look at the world. Ren had traced it fabulously; she knew this to be the work of a master artist.

"Wow, what a wonderful world. How many countries are there?" Asked Pyrrha, staring at Ren's map with bags of curiosity.

"I don't know… 200 or so?" Ren said as he picked it up and displayed it for all the team to see.

"Whoa, that's 200 different cultures you've got to write in... do they all dance?" Jaune was curious.

"Ren thought for a moment before replying:

"I suppose so. I will base this eastern part off Haven, this northern part off Vale, this big part from Atlas and this desert bit off Vacuo. I think climatologically it makes sense to base their cultures off climate conditions found in ours. Vacuo's low roofs and small windows are due to its hot climate, Haven is in forest and thus a wooden empire, Vale is in a seafaring location and Atlas... is cold." Ren concluded, proud of his geo-cultural analysis.

Nora snored lightly.

"SYRUP!" she awoke with before promptly returning to the land of nod.

"I know who'd like this…" said Pyrrha "Blake, she loves fantasy!"

"And Ruby, she likes fairy tales!" Jaune added.

"With that team JNPR set off to team RWBY's dorm, Ren carefully protecting his traced world from Nora's spit bubble as she slept... but somehow through ways only known to Nora, walked beside him.

(Sorry if this idea has been done before, I've been away from RWBY for a while! Constructive criticism welcome!)


	2. Chapter 2- A United Republic of Columbo

"Hmmm…" Blake wondered aloud.

"Well, it's a good idea, but you need to think about how big this world is going to be. Circumnavigating boats wouldn't take very long to invent, and without Grimm as a limiting factor there'd be an almost completely homogenous world. Unless your world was significantly larger than ours, then you have to think about the gravatonic implications of that. No one could jump as high, especially without Aura." Blake sensed something in it though… "But, really do like it, this is a wonderful idea!" With that, the cat-girl smiled gently at Ren, causing him to brazenly blush back at her.

"It would be so cool if you were to put in some weapons like… a highly armoured car called A TANK or… a robot bombing air-plane, or a helicopter with blades going round and round or… A CITY DESTROYING BOMB THAT DECONSTRUCTS MATTER IT'S SELF!" Ruby thought very positively about this. Maybe they could artificially unlock green dust's potential.

"Now that definitely would end all war, maybe not for the right reasons…" Pyrrha smiled nervously and looked to Jaune for comfort, the boy just looked away awkwardly frightened of what she must be imagining. Oh Jaune!

"I don't know…" Blake said solemnly "they'd probably find some way to fight, by proxy or under some rules maybe, ideology will always divide us." She stared out the window like the cute but angsty little kitty she was. Do I have to say it? OK: aww!

"B-b-but we can still have some peace right, even with weapons? Weapons are cool! Weapons are freedom!" Ruby cried hugging Crescent Rose tight.

"I think I might base the United Republic of Columbo on that idea." Ren said with the slightest smile to himself.

"OOH! Can I write about it?! PLEASE!" Ruby was on her knees before Ren, her eyes full of longing for her Columbian dream.

"I don't see why not." Replied Ren, happy to just be at the centre for once. Don't get me wrong, Ren didn't feel bad that he was in a support role but there was always a hint of envy behind the noble ninjas' pink eyes.

"Yay!" Ruby jumped into the air with excitement and instantly got to writing… but more on that later.

"I think I should write a bit as well, maybe about oppression… and war and poverty…" Blake looked intensely at the world, where should she start… the middle bit? Yes, that would be good, she could expand out from that. The world could.

"I'd like to do a bit too… with Jaune… alone…" Pyrrha looked at her feet for a moment. "If you're not doing anything tonight!" The Amazon hurriedly added.

"Sure!" Jaune replied "I don't know what help I'd be."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd make me feel better just by being there." With this Pyrrha's head approached Jaune's and almost nuzzled it's self against his arm. The boy was still completely oblivious to her doing anything.

"I think we'll take Scan-land and that bit just below it." Jaune pointed to Europe, circling it with his finger.

"I know we can make a lovely place." Pyrrha said smiling to Jaune.

"Okay team RBJNPR, let's make the Earth!" And with that he raised his sword for all to see.

"Woah, now that's a sword!" Yang admired it, looking straight down from its hilt to its well-crafted handle.

"Yang! Where have you been?!" Ruby asked, looking up from her drawing of The URC.

"Well, it turns out aura doesn't protect against ACTUAL freezer burn. So our attack might need some reworking…" As Yang spoke Weiss revealed her arm, which was as red as roses.

"Yang, you'll never believe what Ren made, Earth!" Ruby said, handing her older sister a map.

"What like the ground?" Yang said, dazed and confused at this sudden assault of her senses.

"It is a conworld where Grimm, and therefore dust, does not exist." Ren dignantly responded.

"Wait, why are there so many thin points? Like in the middle, and between that sticky-out-top-bit, and over there at the lef-… did you make it this way just to have big battles at choke points?" Yang wondered aloud.

"I based it off a stained napkin." Ren said, passively dismissive of the criticism. Clearly the continents could look like that, they just needed… tectonic encouragement!

"Yeah, that's a very unrealistic as a shape. As if those continents could form naturally!" Weiss declared snootily.

"If you think you can do better, write your own."

"Fine, I shall make the coasts of here!" Weiss pointed to the north where the stain had gone to the other side of the napkin.

"And it shall be called…" Weiss didn't know, she needed to think fast, in a rush… ru-rus "RUSSIA!"

"Oh Weiss, better give it something like… an animal ursa or friendship with the United Republic of Columbo! Because we're friends right besty?!" Ruby clung onto Weiss like a dog onto the paws of its master.

"OUR NATIONS SHALL BE SWORN ENEMIES!" The Ice-queen bitterly declared before her froze up tight, pushing Ruby away with all the elegance of a boot crushing an ant.

"THE REPUBLIC OF COLUMBO SHALL BURN YOUR MONGROL HIDES!" Ruby shouted, launching herself onto the table… before clumsily falling down.

"How can my sister be such a good fighter but so clumsy at home?" Yang said.

With that, the politik of this brave new world began to take foot.

Ruby sat down to write.

 ** _On the united republic of columbo._**

 _Columbo was founded after a rebellion about…_

Ruby could not think, in the time that it took for this to be written her tea with 6 sugars had gotten cold.

"More tea, Ruby?" Asked Scarlet.

"Oh sure!" Ruby replied enthusiastically.

"What are you doing there?" He asked; prying into her google doc. Ruby hastily minimised the tab.

"Nothing!" Scarlet could not be trusted with any sort of secret.

 _After a rebellion against the British for spreading their secrets and taxing their tea._

There! An entire country was now founded upon the principles of trying to annoy Scarlet.

 _The government has…_

She looked outside and saw a tree…

 _Three branches. Moreover, their constitution makes guns a right! No one can take their weapons from them! Guns are freedom! Guns are love! Guns are life!_

At this Ruby smiled, knowing that someday in Columbo it would be socially acceptable to shoot up expensive vase. Just like she had always wanted!

Their founder was…

Wow, she needed to rack her brain… rack… like a washing up rack… WASHINGTON!

 _George Washington._ Their president today is…

Hmm… ruby thought… "hmmmm" the "hmm"ing got louder and louder, like a trumpet.

Ronald Trumpet.

Boy, this was making Ruby's brain hurt!

 _ **[AN: I'm thinking of doing more of these character's essays. Do you want more of them? Do you not? Please tell me in the reviews! Thanks for reading!]**_


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